Dimension Hopping Messiah
- Aritsou
- Feb 18, 2019
- 7 min read
Look, here’s the thing. I have never ever believed in anything like god, Jesus or any of that other religious crap. I was born and raised in a secular family that was entitled to their own sentiment, which was, we would all die alone no matter what. Which is pretty nihilistic, now that I’m thinking about it. Anyway, the reason why I’m talking about this right now, is because I am stuck in a parallel universe where computers are apparently the dominating species on a planet similar to Earth and now, as we speak, ARE HUNTING ME, for spouting blasphemy in front of their almighty god, which happens to be a motherboard. A motherboard, of ALL THINGS, they chose something that is literally in their freaking systems. Humans aren’t even that dumb to treat their organs as something to revere over. What a mess I’d stumbled into.
Now, the beginning of my tale, I was on my way to a local café near my home which sells this delicious sausage sandwich that I absolutely adore. It was a lovely morning, and I was dead tired from my daily routine of not being able to sleep until 3am in the morning, which in return doesn’t make the morning lovely at all. As I walked nearer to the café, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. I inhaled the sweet scent of caffeine as I felt my eyelids open wide with its bitter taste.
“A small boost of energy for a small walk down my favourite café.” I thought out loud.
Now, here’s where things start to get a little bit… weird. As soon as I finished munching down that succulent sausage sandwich and drinking my daily coffee, a man in a trench coat appeared out of nowhere as I was about to leave the café. He was sweating profusely and was exasperated. He seemed like he was being chased down by someone. I decided to ask him what was wrong, but before I could, he gave me a funky looking remote control. The remote control had diodes taped to it and a weird looking antenna stuck out from its censor. Needless to say, I was pretty weirded out by the device, so I protested. Unfortunately for me, he had insisted that I keep it for him and stated that it was an emergency, that his life depended on it. Before, I could even begin to tell him what was wrong with what he just said, he ran off without another word.
So, I brought the strange device home, and pondered its mysterious properties. Well, let’s take a guess on what happens here. Do I? a) Throw it away b) Test it immediately c) Get obliterated by a laser beam. To be honest, I wished it would’ve been option c. Obviously, I tested it out. The device had 1 button on it and as I pressed it, a wormhole appeared in front of me. Like anyone seeing a wormhole for the first time, I stepped into it, and POP! I was in a dimension where computers ruled the world.
At first, I was amazed at how the computers functioned. They were exactly like humans, they had jobs, they had cars, they even had pets. Computer pets to be exact. Weirdly enough, this world seemed to be all digitalized and blocky. The parks were made of this weird metal that was surprisingly smooth to the touch. The people there were shocked to see me, well not people, more like computers… you get the point. To them I was an alien, something they had never seen before, and I was treated like a celebrity. To be blunt, I had been a nobody for all my life, so the fame got to me. I wallowed in the attention they gave to me as I was being escorted to meet the leader of the world.
Now, we enter the part where I realise that these beings are EXACTLY like humans. The president of the country gave me a warm welcome to their world, Electricon, weird name I know, and even offered me oil as a drink. I politely declined saying that the oil would kill me. The president laughed it off and dismissed the guards that were standing by in his office. He then began to question me of my origins and how the people are in my world. I gave him as much details as I could of my world and described how humans really are. Then, it struck me, I had become an ambassador of humankind. Now, setting my fears and anxiety aside, I began to give him my own sets of questions. It was his turn to answer for his race. So, he did. He answered my questions. They had the same issues as we had in our universe. There was an issue of global warming, a war against terrorism in the middle east and even the amount of plastics in the sea. The two of our kinds were alike except one was more advanced. I was fairly disappointed in how this turned out to be, and he realises this as well. He too was disappointed as to how our worlds are so much alike. So, I told him I was going back to my own world, but he stopped me dead in my tracks with one phrase. “We have a real god.”
I was surprised by this statement. These machines… have a god? I asked him to take me to this god. I was then escorted to the basement of the office where we would take an elevator up into the skies where their god resides. The room we had entered from the elevator was massive. It very much resembled the temples back in ancient Rome. The president then took it upon himself to unveil this god that they revere so much.
“Behold, our one true god, ELOHIM.”
To be frank, I beheld for so long that my disappointment was immeasurable. The god was, you guessed it, a giant mother board. It couldn’t speak, it couldn’t see, all it was, was a giant piece of metal. I burst out laughing. Bad Idea. I started to insult their god saying what a bunch of idiots they were for believing in such a stupid thing. Well, not the brightest move on my part. Without hesitation, the computer people, pointed their weapons towards me. I was then forced to run for my life as they chased me down with their blocky type guns. Conveniently, the sky base has prepared some parachutes in case of an emergency, so I managed to snag one from the elevator and escaped through the emergency exit of the building.
Thus, leading to the predicament I am facing now. It has been a wacky story indeed, but, unfortunately, I must take my leave as I am pretty sure I heard footsteps coming towards my direction.
Just as I had signed off from my fourth-wall breaking monologue session, a portal out of nowhere appeared in front of me. With it, a man dressed in a futuristic type robe stepped out of the portal, he looked at me with this look of utter disappointment, like he was expecting something of me.
“Greetings, Edward, I am here to stop you from this useless endeavour of eradicating the planet of Electricon.” He announced pompously.
Edward? Who the hell is Edward?
“I’m sorry, I believe you are mistaken, my name is not Edward, it is Per-“
The man hushed me as he pointed to the device that was sitting nicely in my back pocket.
“Then, how do you explain that device, which only the High Council Members of Pertia are permitted to use to travel to and from realms. Sir Edward, only a fool would mistake you for anyone else.”
Now we know who the fool is.
The pompous man then scoffed and in an irritated tone said,
“Regardless, the High Council members wish to seek an audience with you, Sir Edward. I would not take no as an answer.”
This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
I unwillingly stepped inside the portal in front of me as the man escorted me to another dimension. In mere seconds, we were transported into a futuristic-esque city, filled with flying cars and heavily reinforced structures. Without a moment’s notice, the man in robes tapped on my shoulder, urging me to follow him. Without much convincing, I complied.
Before I knew it, we were at a grand court of some sorts, filled with many futuristic themes, the likes of which is hard to describe. In it, were a panel of men dressed in more wacky clothing, where their clothes would get in the way of their hair. I counted 6 weirdly dressed men in the panel, hopefully, this won’t end in some kinky type party.
“What say you? Sir Edward?” One of the men spoke.
Sensing a tinge of intimidation from him, I nervously replied, “Erm.. I think you have the wrong person here, my name is not Edward it’s Per-“
“Sir Edward, this is not the time for mischief! We want to know why you have taken on this preposterous quest to eradicate the planet Electricon!” Another angrily slammed the table.
I flinched, this Edward guy sure is in some deep shit.
“Relax, Brother Jackson, let’s at least here him out. You may speak now, Sir Edward.” A kinder one spoke.
My nerves relaxed and I took a deep breath and answered.
“My name is not, Edward or Sir Edward. It’s Percy Milton of Planet Earth.” I held out the device from my pocket. “This device was given to me by the man you call Edward, and I have travelled to the planet Electricon by mere coincidence while toying with this device. You have mistaken me for someone else.”
With my statement, the panel grew silent. They were stunned.
“Then… The prophecy, it really has come true.” Another spoke.
“You don’t mean?” Another man spoke.
“Yes, brother. Our Messiah has returned to us once again.”
Wait, what?
“We must rejoice! The Messiah has returned home from his long pilgrimage to the other worlds! We must celebrate with all citizens of Pertia!” The final one spoke.
“Woah, woah, woah, slow down for a bit. I’m not some Messiah coming to save you world! I’m just a normal human.” I abruptly interrupted.
“Messiah, do you not wish to partake in the mass orgy or the massive cake we planned for your return.” One of them spoke.
I looked at them and considered the drawbacks.
Without much thought, I spoke, “Well, I mean your Messiah just needs to make sure his return is as glorious as can be!”
My eyes open to the world once again, I look to my sides, two Pertian women were sleeping soundly by my sides. I smiled and rose from comfortable bed. I stretched to the sound of the birds chirping.
I must have dozed off after partying last night.
I walked to the balcony of my penthouse and admired the view given to me by the people. I smiled and a sense of nostalgia filled my lungs.
“It sure has been an amazing 3 months, huh?” I muttered to myself.
Comments